During pregnancy, most attention goes to expectant mothers, but becoming a father brings big changes and challenges too. This period, filled with excitement and hope, can also bring unexpected mental health struggles for men. Fathers are not protected from the emotional ups and downs of pregnancy and new parenthood. Stress, anxiety, and depression can all appear, and these issues matter for the father, partner, and child too. Not paying attention to fathers’ mental health can lead to problems in relationships, co-parenting, and even children’s growth. This article gives a clear look at fathers’ mental health during pregnancy, including how common it is, what causes it, what signs to look for, and the ways to get help and support for a healthier journey to new fatherhood.
Important Facts and Numbers about Fathers’ Mental Health During Pregnancy
How often do expectant fathers have mental health problems?
It is a common belief that only mothers struggle with mental health during pregnancy or after the baby arrives. But research shows that about 1 in 10 fathers develop depression or anxiety during their partner’s pregnancy or in the baby’s first year. These problems are found to be two times more common in new and expectant fathers than in men generally. This shows that fathers are also at real risk for mental health challenges during this time.
These numbers point to a big gap in understanding and help for dads. While mother’s mental health gets more attention, help for fathers is usually overlooked, which means their problems go undiagnosed and untreated. The pressure and stress of welcoming a child, on top of expectations from society and themselves, make things more difficult for dads. Many men reach their lowest point 3 to 6 months after the baby is born, which means these struggles can last well past pregnancy.
Most Common Mental Health Problems for Fathers During Pregnancy
The main mental health problems that fathers face during pregnancy and after birth are depression and anxiety. Paternal perinatal depression (PPND) is a type of serious depression that can start during pregnancy or in the baby’s first year. Around 5-10% of fathers go through perinatal depression, and some reports suggest the number may be as high as 26% between 3 and 6 months after birth. This is important since, among adults in general, about 5-6% experience depression in the same length of time.
Anxiety is another very common problem, affecting about 5-15% of fathers during this period. Some experts think anxiety might be even more common than depression among new dads, with up to 51% feeling anxious after the baby is born. This includes worrying too much, feeling tense, trouble focusing, and even panic attacks. Both anxiety and depression can make life hard for fathers and their families, so it’s key to notice and treat these problems.
Why Fathers’ Mental Health Matters During Pregnancy
A father’s mental health doesn’t just affect him-there are real effects on the family. If fathers’ depression is not treated, it can lead to worse outcomes for children, such as behavioral, emotional, or conduct problems, and higher risks of bad childhood experiences (ACEs). Dads with depression may be less involved with their babies and show less warmth, making it harder for the baby to form a healthy bond. Older children might also spend less positive time, like reading or talking, with their fathers.
It also affects the parents’ relationship. When dads are struggling, there may be more arguments and stress with their partner. This can even lead to feelings of anger or resentment toward the baby. But, if fathers are mentally healthy, they can help protect mothers and children from mental health problems. Supporting fathers’ mental health helps the whole family do better.
What Factors Affect Fathers’ Mental Health During Pregnancy?
Relationship Changes and New Expectations
Bringing a baby into the family changes the relationship between partners. For dads, these changes can create stress. The attention often turns to the mother and unborn child, which can leave fathers feeling left out, especially during appointments or the birth itself. This feeling of not being important can cause isolation and disconnection from their partner and baby.
The couple’s relationship changes too. Most men have less one-on-one time with their partner after the birth. The emotional bond may feel weaker. Many men depend on their partners for emotional support, but if the mother is also struggling, that support may not be there. Problems with communication or satisfaction in the relationship raise the risk for depression in fathers, so open conversation and support are very important.
Money, Work, and Social Stress
Preparing for a baby brings new worries, especially about money. Costs go up, and work routines may change, making fathers feel under pressure to provide. This sometimes means working more and spending less time at home, making fathers feel even more removed from the family.
On top of money worries, learning new roles, juggling household jobs, and losing sleep all increase stress. Social help, like friends or support groups, also matters. A lot of fathers say there isn’t enough support for dads, as most programs are aimed at mothers. Without others to talk to, dads can feel even lonelier and overwhelmed.
Personal or Family History of Mental Illness
A father’s chances of mental health problems during pregnancy go up if he or someone in his family has had mental illness before. Genetics play a part, so it’s important for men with this history to look for help early. Other things can make things harder, too, like low self-esteem or trouble bonding with the baby.
Situations like an unplanned pregnancy, worries about the baby’s health, early birth, or having a partner experience a hard or traumatic birth can be stressful for fathers. These events can feel scary and leave dads feeling unable to help, leading to anxiety or depression.
Mother’s Mental Health and Its Effect on Fathers
One of the things that raises risk most for a father’s depression is if the mother is depressed. When a partner is struggling, up to half of men can show signs of depression too. Dads often try to support their partner and hide their own problems, which can build up stress and make them delay getting help themselves.
Difficult pregnancies or births, like a traumatic delivery or emergency C-section, can also be tough for both parents. The father may see his partner in pain and feel powerless, leading to his own worries or sadness. This shows it’s important to care for both parents’ mental health as a family unit.
Views about Masculinity and Social Pressure
Traditional ideas about what it means to be a ‘real man’ can make it hard for fathers to ask for help. Society often tells men they need to be strong and hide their feelings. This makes some dads avoid talking about feeling worried, sad, or overwhelmed. Instead, they might get angry, act impatient, or turn to unhealthy ways like drinking or withdrawing from family and friends.
Because emotions may show up differently in men, like anger rather than sadness, their depression or anxiety might go unnoticed by doctors and family. Some men use risky behaviors or keep feelings to themselves, and the fear of being judged for mental health struggles is strong for many men.
How to Spot Stress, Anxiety, and Depression in Fathers-to-Be
Signs of Stress, Anxiety, or Depression in Expectant Fathers
Spotting mental health problems in dads-to-be is sometimes tricky because the signs may not look the same as in women. While tiredness and changes in sleeping or eating can show up, men are less likely to cry or show sadness openly. Instead, they might get more irritable, angry, or have emotional outbursts. Some may become aggressive or frustrated for no clear reason.
Other signs include having no motivation, trouble with focus, or physical complaints like headaches, muscle pain, or stomach issues. Men may act impulsively or take risks, sometimes by using alcohol or drugs more than usual. Withdrawing from family, friends, or cutting back at work-or working too much to avoid home-can also be signs.
How Do Symptoms Appear Differently in Men?
Because men often hide feelings or express them differently, their mental health problems can be missed. Men might cover up feeling overwhelmed by becoming withdrawn or irritable. Throwing themselves into work could be a way of avoiding tough feelings, not just being a ‘dedicated provider’.
Screening tools often designed for women may miss signs in men. Fathers also may not talk about their problems or explain the signs, believing they are just tired from having a baby. Watching for changes in behavior or physical signs can help pick up on problems.
When Should Fathers Look for Help?
Fathers, and those close to them, should ask for help if stress, anxiety, or depression gets stronger, doesn’t go away after two weeks, or starts to harm daily life or relationships. If it becomes hard to bond with the baby or handle daily life, seeing a health professional is important.
If there are any thoughts of hurting oneself, this is an emergency and needs quick professional help. Even if symptoms are mild, early support can stop things getting worse. Since fathers may not see doctors as often as mothers during this period, friends, partners, or family are often first to notice changes. Supporting open talk and suggesting help can make a big difference.
What Happens if Fathers’ Mental Health is Not Addressed?
Effects on Relationships and Parenting
If dads’ mental health issues are not treated, the family can suffer. Fathers with depression are more likely to have poor relationships at home and more conflict with their spouse. This damages trust and teamwork, which new parents especially need. Fathers may pull away emotionally, making it tough for their partner and hurting co-parenting efforts.
Dads may play with or interact less with the new baby, or even feel angry towards the child. Lack of involvement can make it hard for the baby to form a bond and creates extra pressure on the mother, which in turn can cause more problems for her.
Impact on Child Growth and Family Life
Dads who don’t get help for depression or anxiety may indirectly harm their child’s development. Research shows children of fathers with treated or untreated depression are more likely to have emotional or behavior problems. Boys, in particular, appear to be at even higher risk. Kids may also have more health problems as they get older.
Paternal depression also links to tough parenting, like harsh discipline or not following important safety practices. Not being involved and loving with the baby can slow down a child’s emotional and social growth. The long-term costs of these issues can be serious for the family.
Physical Health Problems in Expectant Fathers
It’s not just mental health; ongoing stress and depression can affect dads’ bodies, too. Problems like tiredness, headaches, trouble sleeping, muscle pain, and appetite changes can all show up. High, ongoing stress can mess with hormones like cortisol, which can make irritability and depression worse.
Over time, this may raise chances of heart problems, lower the immune system, and add even more strain. These physical issues can also make looking after a new baby more challenging, creating a loop where poor health worsens stress and vice versa.
How to Help and Support Fathers’ Mental Health During Pregnancy
Healthy Habits and Self-care for Dads
Building good habits can help fathers cope better. Getting enough sleep, eating well, and moving regularly make a positive difference. Even small steps, like taking turns with a partner for night-time care or going for a short walk, can help.
Dads may like practical ways to solve problems. Setting achievable expectations, realizing stress comes from unrealistic standards, and making time for hobbies or time outdoors can reduce stress. Self-care is not selfish-it helps fathers be more involved and supportive partners.
Better Communication with Partners
Talking openly with your partner about worries or fears is important. Both people should feel safe sharing concerns without judgment. If fathers downplay their feelings compared to mothers’, it still matters to listen and acknowledge them.
Both parents looking out for each other helps the relationship stay strong. Spend time together as a couple and talk about changes since pregnancy. When mothers know what to look for, they can spot problems and support their partners in finding help.
Connecting with Other Dads and Support Groups
Being a new dad can feel lonely, but talking to friends, family, or other fathers helps. Sharing experiences-even just joking around-can make fathers feel less alone.
There are now more groups just for dads, online or in person, that give a safe place to share worries and support each other. Groups like Postpartum Support International’s dads-only meetings and forums are available for men to connect, chat, and get advice. These resources help break the isolation many fathers feel.
Professional Help and Resources
If self-help isn’t enough, asking a doctor or therapist for help is smart. Talking therapies, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), are proven to help with depression and anxiety and can be adjusted for fathers’ needs.
Sometimes, medication is needed as part of treatment, working alongside therapy. There is no shame in using medication if it helps. Health professionals, including pediatricians, are beginning to screen fathers for mental health struggles during baby check-ups, to catch problems early and offer support.
Culturally Appropriate Support for Different Families
Mental health care needs to consider cultural differences. Fathers from Black, Indigenous, and People of Color communities may face extra pressure and higher risk for depression and anxiety. Factors like health service access, income, and discrimination also play a role, along with false stereotypes about fathers.
Support for dads should reflect and respect different backgrounds and be free from bias. Providers should try to understand where fathers are coming from and create resources that fit various cultures, family norms, and beliefs. This helps all dads get the care they need.
How Do Doctors Treat Depression and Anxiety in Expectant Fathers?
Counseling and Therapy for Fathers
Talking to a counselor or therapist is often the first step in treating depression or anxiety for dads. This provides a private place to talk about worries and changes, work on ways to cope, and learn new skills to handle stress. Therapy can also help fathers sort out relationship changes and feelings of being left out or invisible.
CBT helps by changing negative thoughts and habits. It can also teach dads how to handle big changes and avoid unhelpful ideas about what it means to be “tough” or “strong.” Group therapy with other fathers can make men realize they’re not alone and learn from others’ experiences. There are also special programs just for new dads that give practical advice and peer support.
Medication
In some cases, medicine may be part of the plan-especially if therapy alone isn’t enough or symptoms are severe. Medicines like antidepressants can help adjust brain chemicals and ease symptoms. The choice to use medication is personal and should be made with a doctor, weighing up benefits and any risks or side effects.
Using medicine is not a quick solution, and it often works best along with therapy. Many men find talking about medication hard because of stigma, but knowing that recovery tools are normal makes it easier to accept help.
Special Help and Programs for Fathers
More programs now exist just for dads. These programs give information, real-life advice, and a chance to meet other fathers going through similar things. Examples include “Bootcamp for New Dads” and “Basic Training for New Dads.”
Postpartum Support International is one group that offers regular support meetings, online chats, and resources just for fathers. Some programs use text messages or online check-ins to help dads watch their mood and get information. The goal is to make support easy to get and comfortable for dads, helping them feel included and understood.
Frequently Asked Questions about Fathers’ Mental Health During Pregnancy
Is it normal for a father to feel anxious or down during pregnancy?
Yes, it is normal for fathers to feel worried, stressed, or sad while expecting a baby. Becoming a parent is a big change, with new duties, money worries, and changes in relationships. Research says about 1 in 10 fathers will feel depression or anxiety during pregnancy or soon after the baby arrives. These feelings are normal, and talking about them can help cut shame and prevent isolation.
How long these feelings last and how strong they feel can vary. Short periods of worry are common. If stress or sadness is strong, doesn’t go away after two weeks, or starts to disrupt daily life, it’s a sign to look for help.
What warning signs should families look for?
Partners and family members are often the first to see changes in a new dad. Warning signs can be sudden; watch for more irritability, anger, or outbursts. Withdrawing from people, losing interest in things once enjoyed, or spending too much or too little time at work may be signs too.
Other things to look for are sleep and appetite changes, tiredness, or lots of unexplained pain and headaches. Using more alcohol or drugs, taking more risks, or talking about feeling hopeless are also signs someone may need support.
How can loved ones support expectant fathers?
Friends and family can help by listening without judging. Ask how he’s really feeling, and let him know what he’s feeling is okay. Tell him that asking for help is strong, not weak.
Give practical help like doing chores, cooking, or helping with baby care so he can rest or do something he enjoys. Help him meet other fathers or support groups. If symptoms don’t go away, gently suggest seeing a doctor or counselor. Offer to find resources or go with him for an appointment. Looking after a father’s mental health supports the whole family and the new baby.
Helpful Books, Websites, and More for Fathers’ Mental Health
Books and Guides
Many helpful books are now available for fathers and those around them. Titles like “Sad Dad: An Exploration of Postnatal Depression in Fathers” and “Daddy Blues: Postnatal Depression and Fatherhood” talk clearly about men’s real experiences. “Dad: Untold Stories of Fatherhood, Love, Mental Health, and Masculinity” offers a broader look at the issues fathers face.
More detailed guides like “Fathers and Perinatal Mental Health: A Guide for Recognition, Treatment and Management” and “Paternal Mental Health: Factoring in Fathers” are also available for those who want in-depth understanding or advice. “The Postpartum Husband: Practical Solutions for Living with Postpartum Depression” is another hands-on book.
Online Support and Helplines
The internet offers lots of help for dads. Postpartum Support International (PSI) has a website for dads, a Dads Coordinator, support groups, and a dedicated Facebook group. Other groups like PANDA, Beyond Blue, and Mensline have helplines and online support focused on fathers.
Resources like mmhla.org/resource-hub collect useful links and information. Helplines like PANDA (1300 726 306) and ForWhen (1300 24 23 22) give immediate support. These services let fathers find help in a private and easy way when they might not want to go out or don’t have much time.
Training and Education for Professionals
Doctors, nurses, birth workers, and policymakers all need to learn more about caring for fathers. Postpartum Support International has a “Paternal Perinatal Mental Health Training” course for professionals. Public campaigns like International Father’s Mental Health Day also aim to break the silence and boost conversation about men’s mental health during pregnancy and new fatherhood.
These programs teach healthcare workers how to spot warning signs, talk with dads in a sensitive way, and give the right help or advice. This leads to better care for both fathers and their families.